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CARL'S STORY Isolation and Shame Though identifying details, including his name, have been changed, the story is true. Carl had never been sure which part was worse. Was hiding on the attic steps with his twin sister covering their ears so they did not hear the arguing and screaming? Or watching their father walk out the door and never return, atleast not to live. They would not be a family again. Carl had known that if he had just not broken that plate that day, his father would never gone off on his mother and never have left them. He had always known that it was his fault. He had always believed that he was the reason that his father had left.
Worse than that, Carl had always known that his mother and sister had known it too. Of course, he never wanted to hear them say it, never wanted to hear or to speak the words. So he kept his distance. From that point on he had never let them or any one else close enough to him that they would know, see, and tell him the truth about himself. Carl would have been fine that way, but his wife was wanted more. She wanted him to let her in. They were arguing more often, getting angrier and angrier, the way his parents had argued. Carl had sworn that he would never do to his children what his father had done to him.
First Carl needed to figure out that much of the pain that he had been feeling was actually pain from the past. That was a difficult first step for Carl. Putting the pain of the past back into the past for Carl meant that he could take small steps towards letting his wife in. He “went off on her” less often. They had fewer arguments. There was less anger, just by getting out of the pain of the past. Then Carl decided to finally tell his story to his wife. He visited his sister and talked to her to. Once he was out of the pain, by staying in the HERE & NOW, he was able to move forward.
If you are stuck in the past, there are ways out. I wanted to hear Carl’s story. I wanted to help him to get out of the pain. I would love to hear your story too. Don’t wait too long. Don’t keep screwing up the present because of the past. While you can sill undo the damage, schedule a session. Learn the HERE & NOW Plan and get out of the pain so you can start moving forward. You too can learn the seven simple steps to getting out of the pain and into the HERE & NOW. And then practice them, and practice them. You can do that much for yourself to see if it can work for you.
I can be there by phone or in person, or on line by chat or email to support and guide, encourage and train you as you practice getting out of th pain. Click the "On Line Counseling" tab at the top left and follow the links to schedule a session.
Help is just a few clicks away. Follow the links and schedule the call. Learn the HERE & NOW Plan.
Stress can be managed, anger can be lessened,
children can behave better, and relationships can be fun again. Trauma can be resolved, healing can happen,
and people can move forward. Counseling can help.
Face to face, on the phone, or on line!
Helping people move forward.
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